While I still had cancer I gathered the family together and we made a list. The list was all of the things they wanted to do when daddy beat cancer. All of the things I missed doing when I was in pain, sick, or in the hospital. All of the big, fun, dreams they had for me. It was all there: some practical, some not. I made no omissions and did no filtering. That list is so precious and at the same time saddening to me. My family has missed me so much this past year. I’ve scratched a few things off that list now but there’s much more to come.
Last night I scratched of my daughter’s very first addition to the list. As soon as I had asked her what she wanted to do when I didn’t have cancer anymore she immediately said the “big swing.” It’s at her Christian day camp and in her 7 year old mind was the funnest thing she could imagine me doing when I was well again. She also remembers that last year I could barely walk that week. She asked me if I could go on it last year and I had to say no because my back hurt so much with what we’d later discover was a tumor pressing against my spinal cord. She remembered that. For a year she held on to that.
I’m happy to report that last night we visited her camp for family night and I made it to the big swing. This is a huge milestone and victory and I’m proud to cross it off the list.
