It’s been one week since my last dose of chemo and I’m still not on my feet. This is a new record. Normally I am functional after 5-6 days. Just when you think you have chemo all figured out it changes the rules.
Doctors expected this one to pack a punch and it has delivered on that promise. People ask what it feels like. It’s hard to describe. It’s probably best equated to the worst hangover you ever had. I’m nauseous. Smells bother me. I’m tired all the time. I get light headed. I have a mild headache. My body aches. My brain has a fog that won’t go away. I’m bored out of my mind but can’t physically or mentally do anything. My lofty goal for today is to leave the house, just once, even if it’s just to get the mail.
I expected the positive mental energy of “woo hoo, this is my last one” to carry my through this dose but that’s long gone. I just want it to be over and to feel better.
Unfortunately, I googled how long it takes to feel “normal” again after a chemo regimen like this. Advice varies from 2 months to 6 months to a full year. That’s a long time from where I sit.
I have been inspired by this guy this week. It’s a great idea. I’m ready to be done with this cancer and this treatment and all the side effects. I’m ready to give my body a break so it can finally heal. I’m ready to start dreaming again. I’m ready to get on with the business of life after cancer. I want to put in a 40 hour work week. I want to have an answer other than “resting” when people ask me “what are you doing this weekend?”
Can this be over, please?